A divorce will change your life. Some think of it as an end. However, it is the beginning of unlimited possibilities. If you have dreamed of doing things, now is the time to turn those dreams into reality. Chances are that this new life can bring on a combination of joy and unease. Are you prepared for what lies ahead?
Understanding the Unease
While a new start can offer the chance to live your best life, why is it scary at the same time? Mainly because our negative beliefs keep us in our comfort zone. We are comfortable with what we know. The unknown can be daunting, sometimes even overwhelming. We wonder whether we can handle it. Therefore, we hesitate to move forward and embrace all that life has to offer.
Limiting Beliefs
Few of us realize that the only thing holding us back from living the life our more successful friends are living are our limiting beliefs. Negative thoughts such as “I can’t” or “This isn’t me” keep us teetered like a tightrope.
Usually, negative thoughts are formed early in childhood, long before we can grasp their implications. When we are told, “You can’t do that,” we believe it. We see others do things and tell ourselves, “They are smarter … braver … better … than I am.”
And these limiting beliefs remain with us into adulthood.
Limiting Beliefs and How They Work
At any age, limiting beliefs act as emotional blocks and keep us from achieving our goals and our best possible life. These blocks are mostly subconscious, so we may not even be aware of them. For example, a person is happily married for a dozen years, then undergoes a divorce. This person is intelligent, and capable and has always, secretly wanted to open her own business. However, a fear of failure has kept her from doing so, and being married served as a convenient excuse. What is her excuse now?
Dealing With Limiting Beliefs
How does this person access the subconscious mind to learn what is keeping her from achieving her goals? She needs to write down all thoughts associated with running her own business, both positive and negative. This will clarify the fear of failure. When this person becomes aware of her limiting negativity, then she can begin to deal with it. By repeatedly focusing on positive thoughts, the limiting belief will fade. And she can begin living her best post-divorce life. Once we understand what is holding us back, we can overcome it.
Steps to the Best Life After Divorce
Divorce is by its nature difficult and can rob even a confident person of self-esteem, especially if that person is the one getting dumped. The best way to adjust positively to divorce and come out a winner on the other side is by taking the following steps:
- Your goals will be different post-divorce than they were prior. Make a list of what you want your life to look like – now and in the future. You may be surprised.
- Accepting all emotions is important, and that includes the pain and frustration surrounding divorce.
- Be open to new experiences. Do things that you have not done before. Or take up activities that you discarded when you were married.
- Don’t dwell on past mistakes. Instead, learn and grow.
- Treat yourself with kindness. If you won’t, who will? That means eating well and taking care of yourself. Try meditation and/or yoga to achieve a peaceful state of mind.
- If there are skills or certificates required to achieve your goals, acquire them.
- Stop thinking about your ex or living according to his or her rules. The ex is no longer a part of your life, and you are in charge of your life now.
- Approach any new romantic relationship realistically. It may or may not work out. Focus on having fun.
Conclusion:
Life indeed continues after a divorce, often opening doors to personal growth, new relationships, and enriched experiences. The single life allows for self-exploration—making new friends, trying new hobbies, and even embarking on new romantic adventures.
The world is vast and full of potential waiting to be discovered. As you transition into this new chapter, every day is an opportunity to explore, learn, and grow. The journey may be filled with mixed emotions, yet with a positive outlook and an open heart, there’s much to look forward to.
Embrace the lessons, cherish the growth, and revel in the freedom to craft a life that resonates with your desires and aspirations. Life post-divorce can be fulfilling and vibrant, a horizon where endless possibilities await.